Landslide
by gf7
Summary: Lorna dreams of her lost beloved. Scott and Jean make progress. SJ, AL


TITLE: Landslide  
AUTHOR: Shawn Carter  
WEBSITE: http://www.godfatherfic.batcave.net/index.html  
FEEDBACK: Please.  
DISTRIBUTION: Sure. Just ask.  
SUMMARY: Lorna dreams of her lost beloved. Scott asks Jean a very important question.  
NOTES: This takes place after FULL OF GRACE. FOG completed a trilogy devoted to reuniting Scott and Jean to at least being able to fight their problems together. I hope this piece(shorter than most) can serve as the bridge to the next trilogy.  
RATING: PG-13  
DISCLAIMER: Marvel. Blah.  
MUSIC: Fleetwood Mac baby.  
DEDICATIONS: A special thanks to Christine de Chagny. Thanks for the encouragement; I really do appreciate it.  
  
***  
  
I never saw myself with a blonde man. When I was sixteen, I figured I'd go tall, dark and handsome, Rugged and wearing spurs. Well I got the spurs. Boy did I get the spurs. Let's..not go there.  
  
But my sweet Alex had hair the colour of sun bathed straw and blue eyes that best resembled a turbulent sea during a horrific storm. And they were always dancing. Even when he was furious. Even when he was breaking down.  
  
He always trusted my arms. That was strange for me. I barely trusted myself. He'd lie back against me and then grin up at me with an impish smirk. Daring me to punish him. And I always wanted to. Punish him until we were both laughing.  
  
I'd reach out to slap his face lightly but I'd never connect. He'd catch my hand and twirl me, pouncing and laughing. He'd tsk and tell me that he'd have to show me how to behave.. All night long. Until breathing was a virtual impossibility. Until moving was a pipe dream.  
  
I miss him.  
  
I've been missing him for so long that it feels like part of me is standing beside me. Looking in. Hey Lorna? Ya there? All there I mean?  
  
Nope. Not today.  
  
I trudge to my bed, feeling the weariness of my body began to drag me down. I barely make it onto the mattress before my eyes flutter shut.  
  
And then as the darkness swirls in, again I am conflicted. Do I want to dream? Do I want to be without him for the night? Do I want to rest?  
  
Oh Alex...you were always good at making the big decisions but you know what? The one thing I do know right now..the one thing I get?  
  
I want you back Alex. God, I want you back.  
  
***  
  
"Hey," he said, sliding into bed behind her. He dropped a kiss on her shoulder and sighed as his lips grazed the softness of her skin. She giggled.  
  
"You're tickling," Jean murmured, turning to face him.  
  
"Sorry," he said with a grin, not at all sorry.  
  
Things were better. Not great. There was still a lot of darkness but things were workable. Looking into her beautiful eyes didn't cause his heart to stop or his chest to ache with...  
  
*My name is Jean.*  
  
Scott blinked. "What?"  
  
"You were elsewhere," she said simply, moving to straddle him. "I wanted you here." Leaning up she kissed him hard on the lips.  
  
He shook his head. "You were in the Danger Room for almost five hours. There's no possible.."  
  
She laughed and then leaned forward and nipped the edge of his gray tee-shirt. "Scott? Lover? It's in my way."  
  
"You know you should sleep right, Dr. Grey? I mean..we have big plans for the morning..we have to meet.."  
  
"Scott, " she growled, looking up at him, eyes narrowed in an almost predatory fashion. "If I have to psionically silence you, I will."  
  
"No, you won't," he laughed, pulling his shirt over his head.  
  
She grinned and winked, "You're right. I want to here you say my name, buster."  
  
He chuckled, "Okay. Buster."  
  
***  
  
"Hey babe," he said, kneeling down beside her. He brushed a hand over her cheek and she could feel the calluses on his palm. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.  
  
"Alex," she murmured, opening her green eyes to look at him. She was tired, worn down even. She and Jean had spent most of the day in the Danger Room working out new maneuvers.  
  
"You don't look so well," he offered, lifting the sheet. He pressed himself to her, spooning her and then eventually wrapping his strong muscular arms around her. He nibbled her neck for a moment before turning her head to face him. "You're not taking care of yourself."  
  
"I am," she murmured, looking into his blue eyes. "I just..I'm so beat, Alex."  
  
"I know, babe. I know." He brushed his cheek against hers and she could feel the light stubble of his cheek. She giggled a bit. She pressed a hand to his cheek and held his face against hers.  
  
"Come home to me, Alex."  
  
"I want to, Lorna baby. I do. I.." he looked at her and for the first time she saw confusion and fear in his eyes. "I just don't know how. I don't know where I am..I...I don't know if I'm dead and I just can't let go of you..I'm scared...it's so damn dark here..and it hurts so much.."  
  
He looked like he was about to cry so she pulled him closer. She knew it was a dream but it didn't really matter. He was letting her hold him. Again. He was trusting her touch.  
  
"You're not dead, Alex. I know it in here," she pointed to her heart.  
  
"Then?" he said, seeming like he was gasping for breath. Perhaps for existence itself.  
  
"I don't know..but we will find you and I will bring you home.." Lorna promised, leaning up to gently kiss him. God..everything felt so real here. His touch. His breath. His fear. She parted from him, "You just need to hold on..hold.."  
  
She never finished the sentence before he screamed in agony. The sheer force of his terror thrust her back into the waking world and she came to with a violent shudder and a short shout. Breathing heavily, trying to catch herself, she noticed that her sheets were drenched in sweat. She stared at them for a moment, feeling the dampness beneath her fingers.  
  
"Alex..no no..Alex.." she whimpered, body shaking.  
  
And then dropping her head into her trembling hands, she began to weep.  
  
***  
  
  
I heard her crying again. Soft and shaky like she was trying to conceal her pain. She should know better. I could feel Charles stirring around in my mind; telling me that we would need to find a way to soothe her pain. I told him there was only one way. And then there was silence.  
  
We both know that this is troubling ground. What if Alex is dead and Lorna's psyche just can't let go? I shake my head; I don't believe that. I felt something there when I scanned her. Something different. I do believe he's trying to contact her. That only makes things harder.  
  
Because we don't know how to find him. How to save him.  
  
I sigh. It's been a weird day.  
  
It's funny how in our strangest moments..the ones where the people we love and adore are hurting the very most, we can find personal triumphs.   
  
I feel guilty.  
  
I was in the bathroom. Okay, that's not terribly romantic. If I say that I was brushing my teeth does that kill it even more? Just the same, he came up behind me and kind of started dancing with me.  
  
My Scott has no rhythm so I had to stop him quick. I was either going bust a gut laughing or cry a river. Either idea was a bad one. I took his hands and pulled them around me. "Why ya up?" I asked, pecking him quickly.  
  
"Because I have a question for you," he says, leaning forward to my ear. He sucks on it for a moment and I just about lose all balance and coherent thought. But then he says it and I DO lose everything. All at once. Like an explosion.  
  
"Marry me, Jean."  
  
I blink and look up at him, confused. I pat his arm. "Silly, we're already married."  
  
"No," he says, suddenly urgent. "Marry me. Changes and all."  
  
I look at him, wishing I could see his eyes. But just the same, I know he's deadly serious. I touch his cheek. Finally I nod. "Ok. Yes. Yes."  
  
He grins and it's the first full one I've seen in weeks. And damn is it beautiful. Somehow, I know this means everything to him. It's like I just put a piece back into some really cracked jigsaw.  
  
I'm not a fool. I know that the hard times aren't behind us. Simple words aren't gonna make my husband better. It's going to be a long painful process and we might shatter a bit. It's terrifying.  
  
But he still wants me. As his wife. In life and death. New Scott and Old Scott.   
  
And for today, that's enough to make one or two nightmares drift away.  
  
-FIN 


End file.
